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20 of the Funniest Travel Quotes of All-Time

“The worst thing about being a tourist is having other tourists recognize you as a tourist.” ~ Russell Baker

“Adventure, yeah. I guess that’s what you call it when everybody comes back alive.” ~ Mercedes Lackey

“You got to be careful if you don’t know where you’re going, because you might not get there.” ~ Yogi Berra

“There’s nothing American tourists like more than the things they can get at home.” ~ Stephen Colbert

“Be careful! Travel expands the mind and loosens the bowels.” ~ Abraham Verghese

“When you come to a fork in the road…take it” ~ Yogi Berra

“Too often travel, instead of broadening the mind, merely lengthens the conversations.” ~ Elizabeth Drew

“Boy, those French. They have a different word for everything.” ~ Steve Martin

“Airplane travel is nature’s way of making you look like your passport photo.” ~ Al Gore

“Climbing K2 or floating the Grand Canyon in an inner tube. There are some things one would rather have done than do.” ~ Edward Abbey

“I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places”. ~ Henny Youngman

“Don’t worry about the world ending today, it’s already tomorrow in Australia.” ~ Charles M. Schulz

“Living on Earth is expensive, but it does include a free trip around the sun every year.” ~ Unknown

“Knock Knock! Who’s there? Tibet! Tibet who? Early Tibet and early to rise!” ~ Aha Jokes

“My fear of flying starts as soon as I buckle myself in and then the guy up front mumbles a few unintelligible words then before I know it I’m thrust into the back of my seat by acceleration that seems way too fast and the rest of the trip is an endless nightmare of turbulence, of near misses. And then the cabbie drops me off at the airport.” ~ Dennis Miller

“I get pretty much all the exercise I need walking down airport concourses carrying bags.” ~ Guy Clark

“I have found out that there ain’t no surer way to find out whether you like people or hate them than to travel with them.” ~ Mark Twain

“Airline travel is hours of boredom interrupted by moments of stark terror.” ~ Al Boliska

“Travel becomes a strategy for accumulating photographs.” ~ Susan Sontag

“There is nothing safer than flying – it’s crashing that is dangerous.” ~ Theo Cowan

Comment (1)

  1. Elizabeth Simcox wrote::

    Love them!Airports should have these (and others) while we have to wait in lines. Maybe we would be more patient and nicer to the counter staff.

    Saturday, February 1, 2014 at 4:50 am #